3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
