She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
