I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
