I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
