The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
