'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
