A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I could fuck to npr.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
