Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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