Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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