oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
