I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
