he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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