If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
