Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
