I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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