do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
