Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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