i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
