One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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