i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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