just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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