we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
