thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
