first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
