tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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