You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
