apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
