He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
