I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
