Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
