I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
