This is not my ceiling
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
