Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
sex in a hospital.. check
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
