Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
