I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
