...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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