grandma shit on top of the toilet
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
