1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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