so explain again why im purple
no
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
