And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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