I skipped work to stalk him.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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