If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
