My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
foreskin is a definite game changer
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
