this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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