I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
