the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
NoShamevember. You game?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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