Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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