I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Drunk walkin through police station. America
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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