scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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