So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
