Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
