Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
