you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
