Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
